Calendar Girl Blog: The Fourteen Year Old Boy
Of all the reason's I hear from women for not buying a calendar, the ever so powerful, '14 year old boy' tops the list. Second to him is, 'the husband'.
Here's how it goes.
"I've got a 14 year old son so I wouldn't be able to put the calendar up. It would be too uncomfortable for him."
Or.
"I've got a husband so I wouldn't be able to put the calendar up. He wouldn't like it."
My comments usually go like this.
"Your son will find a way of seeing women's breasts. Most 14 year old boys do. Likely in the form of porn. Would it not be better to offer a normal, educational veiwpoint of women's breasts at home?" Sometimes I add, " Is it possible that it's you that is uncomfortable with breasts?"
Or.
"So, your husband doesn't like breasts? Or is it that your husband doesn't believe in breast health"?
Calendar Girl realizes that our society is particularly hung up about bodies and sex. She is not surprised. Calendar Girl simply wants to questions peoples negative beliefs and open up discussion.
Calendar Girl
Speaking of bodies, I've posted a 'body' cartoon on My Menopause Blog today.
Calendar Girl Gift Idea: Purchase a 2006 Breast of Canada Calendar for your Breast Friend.
Here's how it goes.
"I've got a 14 year old son so I wouldn't be able to put the calendar up. It would be too uncomfortable for him."
Or.
"I've got a husband so I wouldn't be able to put the calendar up. He wouldn't like it."
My comments usually go like this.
"Your son will find a way of seeing women's breasts. Most 14 year old boys do. Likely in the form of porn. Would it not be better to offer a normal, educational veiwpoint of women's breasts at home?" Sometimes I add, " Is it possible that it's you that is uncomfortable with breasts?"
Or.
"So, your husband doesn't like breasts? Or is it that your husband doesn't believe in breast health"?
Calendar Girl realizes that our society is particularly hung up about bodies and sex. She is not surprised. Calendar Girl simply wants to questions peoples negative beliefs and open up discussion.
Calendar Girl
Speaking of bodies, I've posted a 'body' cartoon on My Menopause Blog today.
Calendar Girl Gift Idea: Purchase a 2006 Breast of Canada Calendar for your Breast Friend.
posted by Sue Richards at 12:10 PM
4 Comments:
Sue,
That 14 year old boy has been conditioned to view breasts as titilating, but he may not be sure why they are so. And he's probably too shy to ask. So if a mom puts up a Breast of Canada calendar where he will see it, she needs to also help him understand the context of the photos. We should not expect him to do that on his own. The most sensible action, I think, is for mom to explain it as a normal part of life and not make a big deal out of it.
In my opinion, the BoC clendar is a terrific opportunity to teach young people of both genders how to react to the norms of our society, rather than blindly following other people's criteria.
It will take more effort and risk-taking for the 14 year old to accept the sight of female breasts as normal than for an adult to explain it. But it sure is worth the time and effort!
And as for the husband . . . Would his wife rather he look at those silicone babes in the men's magazines in his car, at the barbershop, or go to a strip club to see real and reconsituted breasts? You can bet he'll see breasts somewhere, and I propose it's much better to control where he does than to ignore that natural urge and let it take another course.
Women can and do influence what we men see and how we perceive it. So please give this subject the importance it deserves for boys and men of all ages.
Pierre,
Social conditioning was the subject of my post on My Menopause Blog yesterday.
What if, and I believe this is a problem, the mom/wife/girlfriend is so hung up about breasts herself that she passes her unhealthy attitudes on like a family heirloom?
Calendar Girl
Sue,
If the mom/wife/girlfriend doesn't get it, then we should move on to people who may get it. I've been teaching for many years at Concordia University in Montreal. When I began, I was sure I could teach all my students everything, but I was mistaken. In virtually every class I've taught over thirty years, there are a few students at the top of the list who will learn the material whether I teach it or not. If I don't, they'll pick up the book and read it. Also, there are a few at the bottom of the class who will not learn no matter what I do. They're there because their parents insisted, or because it's cold out, some other inane reason. Then there is a whole bunch in the middle. They're there to see if my message is good for their careers, or just makes sense. The verdict is out for them, and that's where I can influence thinking. So now that's where I spend my time and energy. I can simply point the good ones in the right direction and they're off. I help them when they need it. The duds can do whatever they like as long as it doesn't disturb the class. And if I win a few of the middle group to my ideas, then I've succeeded.
It seems to me the same logic applies to your quest to educate people about breast health. So let's find that bunch in the middle.
The 14-year-old boy sounds a lot like the dog who ate my homework.
Bob Janes in England, he of the sharp pen and probably even sharper tongue, said "At every case I’ve attended [of someone in court for nudity], the witnesses are carrying a proxy vote of offence on behalf of somebody else they assume was affected; and children are ideally suited to the purpose."
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