Calendar Girl Blog: Mr. Mojo
My With or Without Man post from yesterday was an attempt at explaining something that has plagued me for years but has been difficult to articulate.
In short: I would like to be able to go about my life without having to worry if I'm turning some guy on, simply because I'm alive. I don't want to wear a fake wedding ring, a trick many single women use, to appear to be 'someone else's gal'. I don't want to be accused of frigidity or having a different sexual orientation because I don't find a males advances, say while I'm parking my car, stimulating or worth pursuing. I don't want to be responsible for policing mens sexual innuendos by repeatedly reminding them that: I am not interested.
I do want to have male friends. Men have such a wonderful perspective on so many parts of life that I would regret missing out on such wisdom. Men are fun. Men can open pickle jars.
Even Shorter Explanation: I would like the same freedom to be myself as a man has.
Yes, I know that all men are not like this. I have many successful friendships with wonderful men that prove this to me. And I know men have a different sexual response and stimulation rate than women, which no doubt is at the crux of this entire dilemma.
I'm not trying to dictate men's reality. I'm looking for a way to live my life without having to micro-manage my every move for fear of getting Mr. Mojo going.
Maybe I blowing hot air into a freezer. Maybe I don't want to hide behind a man, but rather walk beside one or gee, play it on my own. I don't need to eat pickles from a jar.
Calendar Girl has a brain. And she has breasts. She prefers it when both can be present.
Calendar Girl
Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, equality, breasts.
In short: I would like to be able to go about my life without having to worry if I'm turning some guy on, simply because I'm alive. I don't want to wear a fake wedding ring, a trick many single women use, to appear to be 'someone else's gal'. I don't want to be accused of frigidity or having a different sexual orientation because I don't find a males advances, say while I'm parking my car, stimulating or worth pursuing. I don't want to be responsible for policing mens sexual innuendos by repeatedly reminding them that: I am not interested.
I do want to have male friends. Men have such a wonderful perspective on so many parts of life that I would regret missing out on such wisdom. Men are fun. Men can open pickle jars.
Even Shorter Explanation: I would like the same freedom to be myself as a man has.
Yes, I know that all men are not like this. I have many successful friendships with wonderful men that prove this to me. And I know men have a different sexual response and stimulation rate than women, which no doubt is at the crux of this entire dilemma.
I'm not trying to dictate men's reality. I'm looking for a way to live my life without having to micro-manage my every move for fear of getting Mr. Mojo going.
Maybe I blowing hot air into a freezer. Maybe I don't want to hide behind a man, but rather walk beside one or gee, play it on my own. I don't need to eat pickles from a jar.
Calendar Girl has a brain. And she has breasts. She prefers it when both can be present.
Calendar Girl
Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, equality, breasts.
posted by Sue Richards at 10:28 AM
3 Comments:
Sue, you are bang on.
Jess
Sue,
I do understand your point about Mr. Mojo. By the way, most of the men I know don't like him either, but he's out there, lurking, or just seizing every opportunuty to exercise his machoidity.
The Mr. Mojo in the parking lot staring at your breasts is irrelevant. Treat him with total indifference and he'll go away. He probably won't change his attitude, but he will go away
I think you have a different freedom to be yourself than a man has. And it's all due to that testosterone factor. The trick is to hang around with men who like both brains and breasts, but don't get carried away by either. As you've stated, they do exist, and some are a part of your life.
The men and women I see at the raquet club every morning are mostly nice people who enjoy friendly relationships with each other. The women all have brains and breasts, they're all different, and they're all interesting people. In contrast, the people in the bars downtown are a very different breed. Sex counts for a lot there. So I stick with the raquet club and avoid the bars.
Sue,
Another great post. Again, every man should read this. Men need to understand what it's like.
I'm not so sure that it has to do with out different sexual response. I think it has more to do with our socialisation. If we learnt to talk about how we feel and about how women make us feel, we would learn to be more open with women about how we feel about them.
We wouldn't have to stare. We would learn to glance and follow this up with a meeting of eyes and a smile. I'm guessing but I would think most women like being thought of as attractive and would like men to notice your breasts AS WELL AS the rest of your beautiful bodies. But you would like men to express that appreciation nicely.
so much of the time we don't understand what is happening to ourselves so we just do what we learn from other men.
Chris
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