Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Countdown

I'm told that Dale, the delivery guy, will be here with 1,000 copies of the 2006 edition of Breast of Canada at HIGH NOON.

Yikes.

Calendar Girl has butterflies. In her stomach.

Calendar Girl

Other Links and Blogs of mine. Maybe even of interest to you...or maybe not...
I'm just sayin.

Breast of Canada Calendar
Calendar Girl Blog
The Breast Views Blog
My Menopause Blog

Monday, May 30, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Picnic Month is Coming

Just in case you don't know this (because your calendar fails to tell you) June is Picnic Month.

Why is it Picnic Month?

Well mostly because my friend Tannis and I decided it was so. We like picnics but often found ourselves too busy to go on one. So I figured, if it was legislated, formally written in the calendar, then time would be made and picnics would be had.

And that's exactly what happened. We had multiple picnics.

So, dust off your picnic mind and get yourself ready for Picnic Month. Any of the 30 days of June will work. And, don't limit yourself to one. But do start with one.

Calendar Girl likes to encourage out of the kitchen eating. Totally radical.

Calendar Girl

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Be Here Now

May 30th, 1981 was my first and only wedding date. If I had followed through by actually walking down the aisle and declaring my 'I do's', my life today would be very different.

First, I would be a widow. My fiance became very ill shortly after I bid my good-byes. He died at 30 following a successful lung transplant. The transplanted lung was cancerous.

I could have re-married. I could have had a child. I might have stayed in the very small rural community of my young adulthood and farmed the farm that we had yet to purchase.

But instead, my path lead me elsewhere. Here. To my old house, in my artistic city, on my friendly street. I create my work. I do something unique in the world. I focus on the present moment, this exact moment, as I type away, slowly, not so gracefully and do my best to be my best. To be awake. Wide awake and fully aware.

I look at my calendar. And I marvel. What a remarkable journey this life of mine is.

My dad would say "Who'da thunk?"

I think breathing has something to do with it.

Calendar Girl.

Other Links and Blogs of mine. Maybe even of interest to you...or maybe not...
I'm just sayin.

Breast of Canada Calendar
Calendar Girl Blog
The Breast Views Blog
My Menopause Blog

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: They're (almost) Here

My Prince of Printing called me yesterday afternoon. His message....the 2006 calendars are PRINTED and ready to be DELIVERED.

Instead of calling right back, I immediately closed my office for the day. Then I went next door to visit my neighbour. This resulted in a dinner invitation from Gareth, my designer who happens to be one of my other neighbour's. Following food, another neighbour invited some of the women from the neighbourhood over for a sauna and drinks. We waddled down the street in a pack with towels and margarita's in hand.

So, it would appear that I wasn't quite ready for Ron's call. But it also appears that my universe was perfectly aligned to help distract me from and avoid the impending delivery of 3000 calendars. Until I'm ready that is.

Calendar Girl doesn't turn on a dime. Rather, Calendar Girl prefers to face things all in good time.

Calendar Girl

Friday, May 27, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Before Breast of Canada

Before Breast of Canada (BBoC) I lived a normal life. At least, I think I did. The last five years of reigning over the Breast of Canada empire has managed to wipe out much of my memory of "the way I was".

The breast business is intense work. I'm pretty much wrapped in a daily blur of learning, loosing, loving, laughing and labouring.

My loyal, lovely and lively friend Jane suggested that I must cultivate the ability to 'dial down', lest I implode.

Ah yes, use the dial Sue. Not just the 'on/off' switch.

Jane is a wise woman.

BBoC, I wrote a story titled Close Calls, Dogs and Horseshoes for our national newspaper, The Globe and Mail. To be very precise, I wrote this story two days before BoC's inception. When I re-read this piece today, I was reminded of the fire of creation that burned in me BBoC. And I realized that it's a fire that did not consume, but rather has fueled my life for the last five years.

Two year's later, I did a follow up piece for the same rag. A different kind of pin-up calendar offers evidence of how, when a good fire gets lit, how hard it is to dampen.

A little Calendar Girl flash from the past.

Sue Richards

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Pitch Results

It's been 26 hours since I sent out the email I posted in the previous Calendar Girl blog entry.

Multiple orders have arrived from the following geographic locations.

Pasadena, California
Bloomington, Indiana
Marathon, Ontario
Mordialloc, Australia
Beaconsfield, Quebec
Burlington, Ontario
Guelph, Ontario
Pickering, Ontario
Charters Settlement, New Brunswick
Glouchester, MA
Toronto, Ontario
Leamington, Ontario
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Forest City, North Carolina
Windham, New Hampshire
Hood River, Oregon
Sunnyvale, California
Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario
Tecumseh, Ontario
Vancouver, B.C.
Danford Lake, Quebec
Werner, New Hampshire

Calendar Girl is feeling a bit more confident now.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: My Pitch

Yesterday at noon, I started sending emails to my customer email list. Three hours later, I stopped.

It took me that much time for several reasons. I'm learning a new email program...Entourage....and....I'm not a fast learner of technology. When I add up all the new bits of learning a new program, I've got several reasons to be slow right there.

Then there's the message itself. I get a few hundred emails a day which makes me 'email volume' sensitive. So I spend an hour at least crafting my message so as not to piss people off.

Here's what I fired off. I'll report the results in my next post.

Greetings from Calendar Girl,

It's that predictable time of year again. Like spring follows winter, you can be pretty sure that Sue (aka Calendar Girl) from Guelph, Canada will ask you to place an order for the 2006 Breast of Canada Calendarjust about now.

Please consider ordering a couple calendars in the next few days. Your advance orders are critical to our getting out the door on firm financial footing. You can go to our order link below, email me back or be really old fashioned and phone. 519 767-0142.

Order 2006 Now

See, what'd I tell you. Just like spring follows winter.

Unfortunate news: The Canadian mall calendar kiosks will no longer be selling the calendar. So instead I’m depending on direct sales with me here at www.breastofcanada.com.

Exciting news: This is our 5th edition. We’re hoping Breast of Canada really takes off this year.

New news:
To keep track of the titillating world of breast calendar publishing, I’ve started a BLOG. You may find Calendar Girl Blog amusing, inspiring and somewhat revealing. I invite you to check it out. I post frequently.

Calendar Girls Fear of Rejection

Thanks so much for reading this. If I’ve caught you at a bad time, my apologies.

Breast Health,

Sue Richards
Calendar Girl

Other Links and Blogs of mine. Maybe even of interest to you...or maybe not...
I'm just sayin.

Breast of Canada Calendar
Calendar Girl Blog
The Breast Views Blog
My Menopause Blog

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Breasts DownUnder

You meet the coolest people when you work in Breastland.

Chris Curnow from Melbourne...a snappy city with kangaroos (or maybe they're Wallies) running around the golf course.....has started a blog dedicated to sharing Breast Stories. I'm hoping to endear myself to Chris over the next while so that I can be one of his Guest Bloggers.

I wonder, what does one wear to be a Guest Breast Blogger?

Speaking of which, blogging....I've been at this blogging thing since December...on another blog...which went tits up today...so I hope those of you who were following along there will eventually find me here.

Calendar Girl
WWW.breastofcanada.com

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Fear of Rejection

I'm procrastinating again.

Usually, around this time of year, I start emailing my loyal customers to ask them, in a pretty please kinda way, to place their orders for the 2006 edition. Yah see, I have this honking printers bill that needs to be paid within 30 days of getting the finished calendars in hand. To cover it, I need to sell over 500 copies at full retail.

So you'd wonder why I'm not on this full time right now instead of whining to you.

Once I get started soliciting orders, I find the work exciting. But until I press send on the first few hundred emails, I get a full blown case of 'fear of rejection.' What if no one wants a copy this year?

No doubt, I'm still feeling the burn I took in the first year when I printed 20,000 copies and lost $50,000.00 of my own money.

Yah, you read that right. Ouch.

Any way...no sense living in the past. And no one is forcing me to publish. So, I'll just get on with it shall I? After I dust my office.

Calendar Girl
Breast of Canada 2006

Monday, May 23, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: May Two Four, Day Three

As further study of the Canadians relationship with the first long weekend of our summer experience, Calendar Girl will comment on the final day of our three day celebration.

You can be sure that the following physical symptoms are manifesting in many of our finest citizens today.

1. Blisters. Mostly on hands, and occasionally heels. From grasping rough handled gardening implements with the 'grip of death.' Or, in the case of foot blisters, from sporting gardening footwear that is rarely worn and never fit well in the first place.

2. Very sore lower backs. From hauling dirt, rocks, compost, sod from trunk to yard and then here and there. The thrill of gardening wipes out the well known wisdom of 'how to lift and carry' properly.

3. Sunburn. Lily white flesh meets bright but not hot sun. Brain believes 'only hot burns.' Brain is wrong.

4. Destroyed manicures. Even with gloves.

5. Hangover. Can be blamed on a number of external causes. But mostly the pain can be boiled down to math. The number of drinks consumed, over a set period of time, exceeded your bodies ability to process the booze.

So there you have it. May Two Four via a blog.

Breast of Canada Calendar; a insiders look at a Canuck's day.

Calendar Girl

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: May Two Four, Sunday

I'm sitting in my hammock, in my backyard, typing this post on my iBook. My neighbour is playing his guitar in his backyard. Someone else is drumming. Birds are singing. The sun is out and a very gentle breeze is helping my windchime add to the music.

Then a firecracker goes off and everyone laughs.

Both households have been gardening all morning. I have no lawn on my property. Only twisty trails through a tangle of plants and trees. Last year, I invited 17 models over for an evening of photo taking for the 2006 calendar. Four photos from that evening will be featured throughout the summer months of 2006. For me, seeing my garden in all it's jungle glory will be my special pleasure in this, my fifth calendar edition.

They, my neighbours, and twenty year's my junior, are hoping to grow all their food in their large treeless expanse of a yard. They are ambitious and beautifully idealistic in their hope for themselves and their daughters future.

We've shared garlic plants and samples of herbs gone wild over the fence.

No matter what our individual goals, our joy of digging, planting and sculpting the patch of earth we call home is closely aligned.

Gardening on the May Two Four is equal to the tradition of tossing back a box of brew and setting off a whack of firecrackers. Generally, our chance of frost or god forbid, snow has passed. But everyone knows that the passing is short and our growing season even shorter. So like the explosion of a firecracker, May Two Four signals the gardening starting point, the 'go' that follows 'on your mark, get set...'

Breast of Canada; the sociology of a Canadian in calendar form.

Calendar Girl

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: May Two Four

For those of you who do not live in the "true north strong and freezing", we Canadians are in party mode this weekend.

Even though summers official start is more than a month away, this weekend, fondly referred to as THE MAY TWO FOUR, is often thought of as the first long weekend of our sunny, green, buggy season.

Officially, the 24th of May proper is the birthdate of Queen Victoria, born in 1819 and Queen of England and the Commonwealth in 1837 when she was 18. (You go girl.)

Now a days, most people have no idea of the Queen connection. Rather, we Canucks being the beer drinkers we are, believe the 2-4 part refers to the size of a box of suds. Twenty four bottles of beer is a fave sized purchase in much of our land. According to The Beer Store ( I kid you not), this first 3 day weekend is one their busiest.

And lest you think it's just a drinking holiday, I must tell you that we also set off fireworks. Yes....imagine....drunk people with explosives. And you thought we Canadians were all a nice passive bunch of polite folk.

If you owned a Breast of Canada Calendar, you would know this. Then, if so inspired, you could host your own Two Four party, invite your friends over, say Eh! to each other and blow some stuff up.

Such fun.

Calendar Girl

Friday, May 20, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Naked Calendars

According to this story, over 200 Naked Calendars were made in Britain in 2004.

The 2003 movie Calendar Girls, was said to "encourage some of the everyday people interviewed to get their kit off for British charity calendars."

'They' (those mystery folks) say the finest form of flattery is copying. Calendar Girls must be flush from the deluge of copycats.

These thoughts were sparked by the story.

First. "get their kit off"...yah gotta love the British lingo...so much more fun than say, 'took off their clothes'. (No wonder we're so uptight.)

And how naked are we talking? Naked with or without cream puffs or song books carefully concealing the actual flesh from sight. (The 'kit' may be on the floor, but what's the point if new 'kit' replaces it?)

And finally, has Canada's Motherland gone starkers? Is everyone running around in the buff, blinded by photo flash ? Have they reached the point of 'running naked and screaming in the streets' cause they just can't stand the state of the world? Or is this the result of one big old hot flash?

Calendar Girl

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Future Predictions

This from my friend Mary in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. Mary is the mom of Katie. Katie gets the most number of credits in the calendar listings. Model, Walking and Talking and Proofer. She's also the mother to the creatures listed as Dogs. That would be Tully and Lou.

Breast of Canada is equal opportunity. If you're kind to me, chances are you'll end up in the credits.

Mother Mary sent this thought for the day.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
I'll be 82 in 2040. Hopefully in my original packaging.

Calendar Girl

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Birthing A Calendar

Model, writer and photographer RSVP's are flying in the door for the upcoming calendar release party. Even those folks at the other end of the country, and without personal 'Breast Jets' are sending their good wishes and sharing their excitement.

Ron, my Prince of Printing claims the calendar is printed and is on it's way to binding, drilling and shrink-wrap land. And, the 2007 blow in order card will be blown in before the final wrapping. Details, details, details. Calendars are all details.

Once this process is finished, brand new calendars will arrive at my door, 50 per box, each weighing 37.5 pounds. Sounds a bit like having a baby.

Oh joy. Oh bliss. Aren't they cute.

I don't have to do weight training. I publish a calendar.

Calendar Girl

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Calendar Girl: What Am I Worth?

I have spent the day accessing my worth as a business woman and a woman's health activist. I would not normally spend my time on something that I intuitively know I'm very good at. But in this case, I must make a written report to a stranger in order for him to decide if I'm due a chunk of change for work that I've completed.

What a strange practice.

Calendar Girl

Monday, May 16, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Getting Busted

Got my first response from the magazine media packages I sent out last week. Curve Magazine claims to be "the nation’s best-selling lesbian magazine, that spotlights all that is fresh, funny, exciting, controversial and cutting-edge in our community. "

Perfect start to what I hope is good media coverage for the 2006 edition.

Got a few orders too. Sheila in Atlanta Georgia, Roy from Richmond B.C. and Lisa from Sudbury, Ontario. I love the geographic span and reach that the calendar enjoys. I try to imagine them off doing their jobs, hanging on a wall in Georgia, inspiring conversation and offering health tips to whoever notices.

Sent my models, writers and photographers their invitation to our 'Fresh From The Press Party'. RSVP's started rolling in instantly. I like to give the people in the calendar their copy first, before anyone else gets them. Just one of my little things. Seems respectful.

I was downtown, doing some banking and I ran into an acquaintance who's name has slipped from my memory ...lovely woman....was in yesterdays yoga class....name starts with a D.... nope...gone.

Anyway, she bought 3 copies of the 2005 edition out of the trunk of my car. We joked that we were likely breaking some bylaw and could maybe get 'busted'.

Yup...funny stuff this breast business.

Calendar Girl
Breast of Canada 2006

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Never on a Sunday

How's this for a combination of Sunday activities.... a three hour Restotative Yoga Workshop, an 80th birthday tea for my dear friend Pauline...a CT Scan.....and a memorial service for a young friend who died of AIDS. This all before dinner time.

If you wanted to design an emotional rollercoaster ride, today's activities provide the perfect template.

Year's ago, before I started learning more about health in general and mine specifically, I would have charged through a day like this with little regard for it's impact on my many body systems. In fact, I would have piled more stuff on my plate. Today, I'm more respectful of myself. I've got a buddy to go to yoga with. A buddy to go to the hospital with. And friends to meet at the celebrations of life and a life lived.

I try to make my life as soft as possible. Because there are days when life simply wakes up hard.

Calendar Girl
Breast of Canada 2006

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Organic Breast Food

Stuart from Home Field Organics delivers a box of organic veggies and fruit to my door every week for a mere $27.00. Canadian dollars. Fresh, healthy food. Cheerfully. On my porch. Imagine.

During the summer, I belong to a crop share at a local farm. I know the farmer, Heather and her interns. I walk the farm all year. I trust my food source.

I believe we need to think differently about the food we consume. I say as much in the calendar.

Annie sent this video link to me today... my friends lean towards organic too. Store Wars is an amusing, yet compelling organic food tale. Beware of Darth Tater. Hail Princess Lettuce.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: Breaking the Rules

Advice of the day. Some rules are not rules. In fact, they are made to be broken.

Calendar Girl

Friday, May 13, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Calendar Girls Movie Review

For a couple of year's I was on the Community Editorial Board of our local daily newspaper, The Guelph Mercury. Mostly I ranted about the behavior of our local government and banged the drum of our exceptionally talented arts community. It was my first paid writing gig. Twenty Five Bucks for 800 words of my opinion. Big times for a small fry like me.

Thanks to my 'in' with the rag, I would occasionally stray from my format and timeslot and send them a freelance piece. The following review was one that they ran. I believe that it was my debut as Calendar Girl.

Calendar Girl reviews Calendar Girls
By Sue Richards


Part way through the feel good flick ‘Calendar Girls’, I had the urge to stand up in the new Galaxy Theatre and invite the mostly female audience to be ‘calendar girls’ in the Guelph based, 2005 Breast of Canada Calendar. “Don’t just watch, I thought, “participate”. The feeling passed, partly because I have an aversion to grand standing, but primarily because I was absorbed in the movies delightful depiction of female angst, daring and creativity.

Mostly, Calendar Girls is charming and sufficiently naughty to provide ample entertainment. The movie is based on the true story of a group of British Women’s Institute members who break traditional form, pose for and publish a ‘nude’ wall calendar for a good cause. The Women of Rlystone calendar was a rousing international success and in fact provided some of the incentive for my Canadian nude breast version.

The movie resonated well to what I’m certain was the actual experience. The English countryside as backdrop offers much for the eye while the English lifestyle provided comfort and amusement. Actors Helen Mirren (Chris) and Julie Walters (Annie) provide the dry, yet hilarious funny bits without saying a thing. In fact the entire cast have the gift of subtle humour.

Until the ladies crossed the big pond, Calendar Girls is a wonderfully warm and accurate picture of the world of amateur nude models, fine art photography and the consuming nature of a ‘do good’ project. Having attended a couple dozen photo shoots with women who’s age range fluctuate between 19 and 69, I recognized the fear and eventual softening of each of the charming movie models as true to form. The process of allowing oneself to be captured by a gifted photographer, in nothing more than our original wrapping transforms and liberates permanently. This is not just a Hollywood phenomenon. It works in real life. I know. I’m a calendar girl too.

Once the creative process of making their product turns into the business process of marketing the calendar, the story changes. With the photo’s in hand the commitment has been made. And so we see the results of such a pledge, not only in the the energy of the eleven models but rippled through to their families, friends and associates. Some families strengthen and others implode.

The personal angst each of the ladies experienced ‘while nude’ is replaced by facing the complexity of hangups and attitudes of the outside world. No matter how pure the intention of anything we attempt, the public eye will indeed project their own dirt.

And so providence wins the day and the ladies find their calendar’s tipping point in the form of a face to face with Jay Leno. Hollywood runs away with the story for a while but thankfully, releases the gals without damage and let’s the women continue with their lives, more satisfied, having lived and learned much about their strengths and weaknesses.

I laughed, I cried and I didn’t reel back in horror. A rare treat at the cinema these days. Go.

www.breastofcanada.com

Calendar Girl

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Happy Birthday Florence

According to my calendar, today is Canada Health Day.

What makes May 12th in Canada a good day to celebrate health? Well chances are, the whole country's weather has improved so no one is freezing to death. That's a good enough reason right there. And spring seems to naturally lead to thoughts of life. People go outside....get some exercise...at least until the black flies show up.

Indeed, both these seasonal reasons satisfy me. But the real reason for today's designation is that today is Florence Nightingale's Birthday. Florence was a health activist and in 1907 she became the first woman to receive the Order of Merit for her contribution to public health. Her work inspired a date on the calendar too. Which I find cool and well, inspiring.

So, lift your butt off the couch, strike up the birthday band and join me in celebrating Canada Health Day and Florence Nightingales Birthday.

Even if you're not a Canuck.

Calendar Girl

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Be Zen

I've been carrying a butterscotch candy around in the bottom of my purse for about a year now. It's well past the point of looking attractive or even being edible. But that's okay. I'm not much for butterscotch. And besides, this candy is far more important.

Yah see, my lump of sugar was blessed by the Dalai Lama when he was in Toronto last spring. My yoga instructor Jackie attended a week long meditation retreat with him. She brought the blessed candy home to me.

Shortly after getting the candy, I entered a contest and won a martini making kit. The contest question was,"Who has the most auspicious item in their purse?" I whipped out my candy to gasps of awe and walked away with the bootie.

Since then, I notice my 'blessing in a wrapper' every once in a while when I'm looking for a pen or my nail clippers. But, yesterday, somehow, someway the candy appeared on my office floor. It had escaped my purse.

I think the candy has something to tell me.

Right now, I'm going through a buyout on a writing contract I've held for two years. It's new terrain for me and I'm trying to find my way through the male aggression, single bottom line business speak and hold onto my values. I'm also trying to use grace as my approach. I'm also traveling through a health issue that leaves me exhausted and shaking. And, I'm about to launch the fifth Breast of Canada calendar.

One of these issues would be plenty.

This morning, my mentor reminded me to Be Zen. Last night, my yogi friend Jeff said, Be Zen. And yesterday, the book I'm reading called Coming To Our Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn suggested, Be Zen.

Could the candy be the forth messenger of the same message?

Be Zen

Calendar Girl

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Oprah

Yesterday's successful media blitz included packages for both Oprah's Book Club and magazine. Later in the summer I'll hit up the television show.

I try Oprah every year. I've sent postcards weekly for months. I've sent boxes of calendars. I've decorated my envelope with original art. So far, one form letter claiming receipt of something or other came back.

I was thrilled. Generic acknowledgement was a step in the right direction.

But,there is one small problem that I've never had to face. I'm not sure Oprah and I agree on body issues. She seems pretty resistant to the idea of looking our age. I'm inclined to put my focus on being healthy. The two mindsets are kind of apples and oranges. Aging is natural and highly respected in some cultures...but not ours. Trying to stop or hide something that is natural seems....um...unhealthy to me.

I get a monthly newsletter from the Oprah industry too. As I was stuffing and stamping my packages, I had to laugh when the latest one arrived with this story. Insiders' Secrets to Make You Younger and Healthier

Breast of Canada is about being ourselves, whatever age that happens to be, and being healthy. The fabulous benefit to being yourself is less self-doubt. Imagine...now that seems so much healthier than fear of fifty.

Calendar Girl

Monday, May 09, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Breasts Go To Press

Today is the day.

Perhaps that is too dramatic. Today is the day I will send off 80 media packages to 80 magazines in North America.

Big deal right? You'd think I'd be use to this part of the project. But I have the same reaction every year. First, I procrastinate. Then I get nervous. Then I kind of make myself do it just so I can stop torturing myself with 'what ifs'.

My media release has to be sent in May if I hope for any magazine coverage in October. Magazine's work with a 5 month lead time. Later on in September I'll go through this whole process again with radio, television and newspapers.

On another note, one of my distributors has decided not to carry the 2006 calendar after working with me for the last 4 years. They placed them in mall kiosks across the country.

With them out of my picture, this reduces my real world presence to a few independent bookstores and people's kitchens. Yes, this is a drag. Puts more pressure on the media campaign.

It would be ironic if this was the year that the media actually 'got' what I am doing and got behind me. A little flurry of ink and airwave would go a long way.

Calendar Girl

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Thinking Breast Solutions

Today is a thinking day. Not that I don't make a daily habit of thinking....I do, to a fault sometimes. I'm more likely to chastise myself for too much thinking rather than not enough.

I've found that when I set a day aside to think rather than think and do or even just do, I save myself much grief. Given the 2006 edition of Breast of Canada is my 5th effort, I have previous experience to wade through. Mistakes to remember. Solutions to re-find. No sense re-creating the wheel as they say. Put another way, my dad's way and mantra....work smarter, not harder.

The subject of today's think tank: How to sell 3,000 calendars before January 1, 2006.

Starting now.

Calendar Girl

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Mother's Month

In the last few editions of the Breast of Canada Calendar, I've taken the liberty to expand the timeframe for MotherFest from one day (the second Sunday of May) to the entire month. I made this bold and pro-mom choice without permission from the National Ministry of Motherhood and Apple Pie. I didn't even angst or toss and turn over my decision. It was a no brainer. All Mom's deserve more than one measly day of recognition in May.

Calendar Girl Note: The single act of making up dates could be considered one of the perks of the job of publishing a breast health calendar. People look at me in total awe when I tell them how liberally I sprinkle such gems as Dead Bra Day, Breast of Canada Day and Picnic Month throughout the calendar. They usually ask, "Can you do that?"
"Yes", I confirm. "So far, we are still allowed to use our imagination and sense of humour as a form of communication."

Besides, I figure if we left fun and funny up to 'the authorities' we'd be a pretty glum lot. End Note.
Back to mom and your recognition of her role in your life. If you're a mom yourself, you likely get it already. If you're not, here's the flat out truth. Raising a kid is the hardest job on earth. You did not come with a manual like my computer. But you did come hardwired into your mother's heart.

Calendar Girl

Friday, May 06, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Breast Team Web Wench

I'm lucky.

I work with a really talented Web Wench.Sandy Walsh, owner of Vinyl Tangerine, has been working on the Breast of Canada site since the fall of 2000. She cheerfully and efficiently keeps the site looking snazzy and current. I write the content and send it to her with awkward instructions on where I want the stuff to go. She patiently dissects my poor use of syntax and voila! The riveting content appears. From my perspective, this is nothing short of magic.

Sandy will be doing a bit of Blog Spiffing Up over the next little while. And, she will set up another Blog for me.

The Breast Woman Blog will provide titillating accounts of the worlds breaking breast news from more than the main stream media's position. I'm fairly breast connected as they say.

So onward and upward....the Breastland Empire is about to grow.

Calendar Girl

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Hide Yer Breasts

Liz Armstrong, a very respected cancer prevention activist and wordsmith is on the Breast of Canada Team. She helps me with the text in the calendar.

We just had one of those typical Canadian, 'complain about the weather' chats followed by an exchange of breast related news. Despite what you might think, we were laughing. The breast business is not all doom and gloom. And our weather... kind of need to laugh or curl up in a ball and live under your bed.

This story is from Liz. Please read it carefully. And if you have any leads on who these evil thieves are, call Crime Stoppers.

This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet, and an explanation to those friends and family who have. Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now,my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next? My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.

That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?

The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you?

I think I finally found my thighs ..and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.

Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.


Calendar Girl

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Prince of Printing

Ron Ingle from Barney Printing in Woodstock, Ontario is my Prince of Printing. I list him so in my calendar credits. Talented, professional, funny and charming, Ron has been involved in the Breast of Canada calendar project from the get go. I think of him as an integral player in the process beyond simply giving me paper quotes. He's on the Breast Team.

When press time rolls around, so does my anticipation of working with and seeing Ron.

Yesterday afternoon was my first face to face for this year. Ron personally delivered, to my door, the press proof copy of the 2006 calendar. Gallant and princely as ever, his smile beaming from ear to ear, Ron handed over the culmination of months of creative vision and work from dozens of people.

Every year I'm overwhelmed....with excitement, relief, hope and fear. Will people like it? Will it sell? Will it speak?

For those of you who don't know what a press proof is, please allow me to explain. Yah see, even though I have two professional proofers; my grade five teacher friend Katie also known as Queen of Grammer, and Kathe, the graphic design owner from electric pear, who sees spaces where no space should be; we sometimes miss stuff. Mistakes. Things that make a calendar kind of useless like too many days in a month or three Mondays in a week. Or reference to Beast of Canada.

The press proof is the actual sized, cut and constructed proto-type of the finished calendar. My job is to do one or several thousand, final checks of this single copy before putting my signature on the cover. This motion of pen to paper signals that it's time to roll the presses.

Big stuff for a calendar publisher.

Ron has delivered all my press proofs. In fact, on the first calendar, he invited me into the printers plant to sign off on the 'in motion' print job. I knew it was a sign when it was MY breast photo whipping over the giant drums.

So here I sit, typing this post in my living room. Sun is streaming in. And BoC 2006 is sitting at my feet.

It's bloody beautiful.

Calendar Girl

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Sponsoring a Breast Calendar

During the first few year's of publishing the Breast of Canada Calendar, I went out banging on doors for sponsorship. The end result was bleeding knuckles and a few dollars of support.

Over the year's, I've become hip to rejection. In fact, and this may sound whacked, I try to embrace rejection and instantly try to make lemonade from the lemons. This seasoned reaction to the word NO has helped me continue my work. My work being pushing envelopes....expanding ideas and perceptions....going where no woman has gone before. And yes, I do have a nifty cape and a really cool wand in my do-gooder bag of tricks.

Back to my bleeding knuckles.

This year, (2006 calendar) I just didn't have the stuffing to do the door banging. My reaction to rejection may be mature but that doesn't mean I always want to put myself in the position to be rejected. So instead, I called on past supporters.

A couple begged off for personal reasons but for the most part, all previous supporters came through in time to get their names listed in the credits of the calendar. All except the Federation of Canadian Naturists. Their board meeting and my deadline didn't line up.

On the final day of proofing, and before hearing back from FCN, I looked at my credits page and decided to leave them in as a sponsor, trusting that they would still want to be on deck. And even if they didn't, I knew that their name in the calendar could only be good vibe, money or no money.

It was a good call on my part. This email came in yesterday.

Dear Sue,

If it is too late to send you a cheque for this year's effort (2006 calendar), then please accept my apologies. I forgot to send a cheque. In any event a cheque is on the way!

Please confirm your address for me please, and I shall mail it immediately afterward.

Sincerely,

Treasurer & Membership Secretary
Federation of Canadian Naturists


So there you go.

Calendar Girl

Monday, May 02, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Be a Friend to Your Breasts

It's been a bit of a rough day today, which I'm not going to get into why except to say, the Breast Business can be hard and stressful.

That said, I'd like to offer you a heads up for tomorrow.

On the third of every month, my clever designer Gareth Lind took the 3 in the date box and plopped it on it's side so that it looked like a kindergartens drawing of a set of boob. Then we added the message, Examine your breasts every month. Be a Friend, Remind a Friend. Kinda like a public service announcement via a calendar.

To add value to this message, I researched a variety of existing Breast Self Examination (BSE) instructions and wrote one that I believe encouraged rather than terrified. There's enough fear of breast cancer out there without adding to it.

Then we added this page to the calendar with photos of real women following the instructions.

I've been told by many women that the Breast of Canada BSE is the best they've ever seen and used and that the 3 in the date box rocks. People smile. And that's a much more positive way to start a breast exam than squinting at something hanging on your shower nozzle.

I will also add the men could certainly take the time to learn the routine too. I trust I don't have to spell out why. Men get breast cancer too.

Calendar Girl

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Calendar Girl Blog: Sunday Breasts

My garden has me in captivity today.

But, if you really must read something about the life of Calendar Girl, two of my stories were published in the lastest edition of the Canadian Women's Health Network Magazine Network Magazine.

Calendar Girl

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