Calendar Girl Blog: Being Funny

Glen stopped me in Tim's Market parking lot and asked to buy advanced tickets for tonight's Breast of Canada Calendar launch. He was concerned that he would be turned away due to a sellout!

This had not crossed my mind.

Now that it was, (crossing my mind) I found my anxiety leap to a new level.

Strangely, I had been nursing the exact opposite possibility, the one where no one shows up. Oh what a tangled web of emotional reaction we weave for ourselves.

Upon parting ways, and following my assurance that he would get in, Glen offered this final comment. "I'm really looking forward to you being funny."

Calendar Girl is really looking forward to breathing, not looking bug eyed scared, controlling her bladder, not tripping over her long dress or falling off the stage. If there's any room left for 'being funny' then funny she'll be.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: Goes Faster

My list of things to do before the launch Friday night is long. My time is short.

This 'too much to do in the time I have left' is part of the 'paint myself into a corner' strategy. Being wildly busy slows the process of being blindly nervous.

Slows.

Not eliminates.

Calendar Girl got some advise from a girlfriend a couple of year's ago...just before stepping on the stage of the River Run Centre and doing a speech as the Chairwoman of the Guelph Women of Distinction Awards.

"Drink one medium size glass of red wine. No more. No less."

One more thing to add to the list. A trip to the Liquor Store.

Calendar Girl
Please join the bloggers banner brigade and place the Breast of Canada Banner on your site.

Calendar Girl Blog: Cranky About Breast Cancer

I have an misconception to clear up.

Breast of Canada is not a breast cancer calendar.

Breast of Canada is a BREAST HEALTH calendar.

My focus is on maintaining health and the primary prevention of the disease. As in, not getting Breast Cancer in the first place.

No doubt you've heard of millions of products and events designed to 'Find the Cure' and 'End Breast Cancer'. But how many have you contributed to that zero in on prevention?

I don't have breast cancer. My motivation for publishing this life consuming calendar is very simple. I have breasts. I'd like to keep them. And I believe that PREVENTION IS THE CURE.

Primary prevention means reducing/eliminating known man-made toxins and cancer causing chemicals from our environment.

Secondary prevention would be more accurately called early detection and includes Breast Self Examination, clinical breast exams, thermography and mammography.

And while I'm at it, I will dissolve a myth...a small percentage (5-10%)of women are genetically predisposed to breast cancer. The lions share of breast cancer has environmental origins that can be reduced and eliminated.

Our industry and government consistently turn a blind eye to year's of comprehensive research that spells this reality out clearly.

If you live in this world, breath our polluted air, eat our pesticide covered food, drink our impure water, work and live in toxic workplaces and homes then you are at risk. If this pisses you off, then maybe primary prevention is the cause for you.

Calendar Girl
Pioneering a new way to look at breasts.

Calendar Girl Blog: On Being Viral

I roam around marketing guru sites looking for ideas on how to make the Breast of Canada calendar fly off the shelves and out of my dining room.

Seth Godin, author of The Bootstrappers Bible offered some fine insight with this line...."For an idea to spread, it needs to be sent and received."

The key word here is AND. I surely do spend my days sending. But just how much of what I send truly gets received? Read more about What makes an idea viral?

Calendar Girl finds the word viral unpleasant. But she loves the idea.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: Preparations

Good news.

Randy Sutherland, my photo taking neighbour, will be attending Thursday nights dress rehearsal of the Breast Friends Choir at the Youth Music Centre. His role: Official Event Photographer.

So if you're not flying in from Madrid to catch the gig, (too bad) then at least we'll have some visuals to sooth your broken heart.

Rumour has it that the choir is going for a funky, vintage, prom look. Which prompt me to do some wandering in the depths of my closet. As the self appointed Empress of Concept and Direction, I want to take advantage of the opportunity and lean toward unconventional attire.

A full on, but not scary Hallowe'en look.

Calendar Girl is a collector of vintage dresses. Will she try out the 1940's gold sequence and orange beaded beauty with the orange chiffon skirt? Or the full length 60's petticoat lane, satin, hitchin' dress with boots?

Guess it depends on how much shape shifting has gone on since the last fitting.

Calendar Girl
Launching breasts since 2002.

Calendar Girl Blog: Hosting Jitters

I'm at the tip of my dip into nervousness.

I'm five days away from hosting the launch of the 2006 calendar, five days away from stepping on the stage, facing 50 - 75- 100 people and not fainting...done that....crying...done that or blathering mindlessly....who me?

I know I am not alone. Every performer gets nervous. Scared silly. Filled with terror. Then it passes. Sometimes after the first 5 minutes, or the first set. Unless you faint first.

One of the tricks I've learned is to sit down. I take my black and white Dalmatian print kitchen chair that I've been sitting on since 1970 and plunk it on the stage. This gives me great comfort, keeps me from swaying back and forth nervously, and allows me the fantasy that I'm sitting in my kitchen.

Calendar Girl wonders why she paints herself into such tight corners.

Calendar Girl
Launch details are as close as the click of your mouse.

Calendar Girl Blog: My Door Men

I hired two good lookin' doormen for next Friday's 2006 Breast of Canada Calendar Launch.

For the price of admission, I snagged my neighbours Josh and Ahren. Their women, Ani and Aimee, are part of the Breast Friends Choir.

The men were planning their wardrobe this morning....suits and ties....or Security tee-shirts.

Calendar Girls preference. Secure men in suits.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: More of My Hood

While I'm at it, I might as well toot the horn of Gareth Lind, the graphic designer for Breast of Canada AND another of my talented neighbours. Like a super hero, Gareth leaves his day job and deftly assumes of the identity of a brilliant comic strip artist.

Weltschmerz by Lind

His strip appears each Thursday. His link is in my sidebar.

After reading Gareth's strip, why not pop over to yesterday's posting on my Breast Views Blog. Cars and Cancer . Then, go for a walk.

Calendar Girl
Pushing Talent.

Calendar Girl Blog: My Hood

My neighbour, Randy, is a fine, fine photographer. He has a photo blog.

So this morning, when I wandered by his blog spot and noticed the beautiful image of the city scape of our downtown, I said to myself, Sue, maybe people from away would like to see what Guelph looks like.

So, people from away. Welcome. And do have a gaze at Guelph and our lovely province of Ontario...from Randy's perspective.

Randy's photo blog of Guelph, ONTARIO, Canada

Calendar Girl
Guelph, the birthplace of topfree Ontario.

Calendar Girl Blog: CFRU 93.3 FM -Interview

What will they think of next!

If you are remotely interested in listening to me prattle on with Jan during my Tuesday morning CFRU Radio interview, here's what you can do.

Click here.

Scroll down and then click on: Tuesday - 2005-09-20

Now, click on: 08:00:00 - CFRU-AM with Jan

Move through the tail end of the BBC news and Bob's yer uncle....or in my case my brother.

Calendar Girl loves radio interviews.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: I love Media

My dad always said, "work smarter, not harder."

This gem stuck, like tape to hair.

It's true, sometimes I find myself working my ass off. But at least I'm aware that by standing back and pondering, an easier, more effective way might be found.

Such has been the case with my media campaign this year. I have absolutely NO advertising budget to work with. And due to a health issue, my energy level is low.

This leaves me with two options for marketing the calendar. Word of mouth and getting the media to do a story. And so, off I went, hunting for interested media.

When the Toronto Sun responded to my media release, I was elated. Apparently that story will appear today or Friday. But what really greased my wheel was the call from Victoria at Broadcast News and Canadian Press Wire Service. After a 45 minute interview, she told me she would be filing both a radio clip and a press story for the countries radio and print media to pick up.

This would be a fine example of 'work smarter'.

Given that 'breast season' is upon us, and media operates on a 24/7 basis, a filed, national story about Breast of Canada is likely to get some hits.

Calendar Girl is not one to count her chickens before they are hatched. But that doesn't mean she can't cluck a little.

Calendar Girl
P.S. If you find a story in your local press, please let me know. I can't afford a 'clipper' service.

Calendar Girl Blog: Peace

Today is the International Day of Peace.

Why not spend the day flashing the sign.

V

Calendar Girl was too young to be a hippy in the 60's. But it's never too late.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: CFRU FM

I love radio. Both listening to and being interviewed on.

This morning, at what is my version of dawns crack, I found myself (how did I get here??) sitting in the studio of the University of Guelph campus radio station CFRU.FM doing a live interview with Jan on the yet to be named morning news magazine show.

Live interviews can be nerve racking if you think too far outside of the room.

So I don't.

I simply try and focus on talking with the host of the show.

And try not to talk with my hands...which simply does not translate on radio.

We gave away a calendar. To the third caller. (Three's turned on their sides look like boobs.) And we played some Tannis Slimmon music...There's A Lift...the perfect breast anthem. I yammered. Jan gushed.

All in all, the hour flew by.

Calendar Girl wonders who was listening.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: Ahoy Matey

Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Arrrrrgh!

Calendarrrrgh Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: Haiku submission

This entry came from Israel in today's mail.

your breasts were like you
nurturing and nourishing
with bountiful love

J. Rachmania

Our Haiku Contest Deadline is September 30th.

Calendar Girl
Haiku. Bless you.

Calendar Girl Blog: Males

This week, I've covered mailers and mailing. Now a word about males.

Males, men, fellows, guys, gentlemen, boys...have different opinions on the Breast of Canada Calendar. Here's a sampling of what has been said to me.

• I love it.
• Are you trying to de-sexual the breast?
• My wife will kill me.
• I don't think it's a guy thing.
• Here's some money.
• Thank you.
• I don't want to seem perverted.
• This isn't pornography!
• This is pornography!
• Is it okay for me to look at this?

Calendar Girl wishes more men felt comfortable owning the calendar. She believes it offers a very different perspective of breasts...one that will enhance the male/female experience.

Calendar Girl
Hosting one BIG experiment.

Calendar Girl Blog: The Breast Friends Choir

Here's a treat, and an experiment.

Recorded live, at Ed Video, in beautiful downtown Guelph, Canada, please welcome, Tannis Slimmon and the Breast Friends Choir.

Rehearsal number 2. Recorded on a single mini-disc player. Then replayed into my phone for Audio Blogger. Sorry, technology is not my strong suit. The song: I Like To Rise.

Calendar Girl got all choked up listening to this joyous tune....at the tail end, due to my lack of know how, you get a wee clip of HomeStarRunner.

Calendar Girl

P.S. Please join us for the launch of the 5th Annual Breast of Canada Calendar on Friday September 30, 8pm. Be entertained by Tannis and the choir in the stunning recital hall of the Guelph Youth Music Centre.

Calendar Girl Blog: Mailing

More on the sexy calendar business.

Yesterday...mailers. Today...mailing. (not male-ing...that's something else.)

So mailing...or, my life at the post office.

I haul at least 20 orders at a time, to the downtown post office a couple times per week. If I'm lucky, and I often am, I get the single Delivery Parking Spot in front of the Post Office. Then I ring the back door bell and one of the gals let's me smuggle a rolling trolley out to my car where I fill it with the orders. Back to the door, I ring again, help push the cart into the back room and then head around to the public entrance.

Are you spell bound yet?

If I'm lucky a second time, my timing is good and I scurry to one of two service desks where, one at a time, the packages are processed. Utah, Britain, Manitoba, California.....all at different weights and different prices......get stamped, stickered and declared (outside Canada). My total is usually over $100.00. My receipt takes a few minutes to print. It is often 4 feet long.

Calendar Girl bids each calendars a safe journey and a happy life. At home, more orders are waiting.

And so it goes.

Calendar Girl
Fresh calendars daily.

Calendar Girl Blog: Mailers

Here's the sexy part of the calendar business.

Mailers.

For five years I've been looking for the perfect mailer for my very standard sized 12x12 calendar.

Perfect means: strong enough to make it from Guelph to say, California in our general postal system without damage, the right size and reasonably priced.

You'd think that in a world of over packaging someone would have thought of this.

You'd think wrong.

All three criteria are hard to come by. Price is particularly tough. Currently, I'm paying $1.50 per mailer....outrageous I know.

Then there's strength. After a first year disaster with large paper envelopes, I moved toward cardboard,in a version fondly called 'stiffy ridgy'. I used to love making that call. "May I order 2 boxes of Stiffy Ridgy's please"?

And yes, size matters. I don't need to pay postage for 6 inches of extra packaging. Too small and calendars break out of their wrapping somewhere over Idaho. Not good.

Soon, like next week, I'm moving into custom boxes that are strong like tree, shaped like a calendar and priced around a buck.

Calendar Girl is praying to the Cardboard Gods. Minimum order was 1,000.

Calendar Girl

Do you want to support Breast Health? Of course you do. Help us spread the vibe. Please add a Breast of Canada Banner to your Blog.

Calendar Girl Blog: You're Invited!

Yesterday, my procrastination broke free. I sent over 2600 emails!! After all, I am having a launch and I do need an audience. Maybe not 2600 people but an enthusiastic 100 would be swell.

So as not to leave you, my precious reader, uninvited and feeling ignored, I will now invite you.

Please join us for the Great Big Release of the:

Fifth Annual Breast of Canada Calendar 2006
Definitely Guaranteed to Inspire Conversation

Yes, you read that right: FIFTH, as in 5. Years.

And yes, I'm a tad weary.

Feedback has been strong over the last 5 year's. On the positive side, countless calendar owners have told us that by owning and using the calendar, their sense of breast health evolved and improved with each passing season.

The process is that simple. And that powerful.

We think that's something to sing about. And sing we will.

2006 Breast of Canada Calendar Launch
Friday, September 30, 8pm,
Youth Music Centre, 75 Cardigan St. Guelph.

Featuring the lovely and melodic Tannis Slimmon and the soon-to-be-famous Breast Friends Choir.
Price: Unwaged: pay-what-you-can. Waged: Suggested $10.00.

If you cannot attend, please take a few moments to hum a couple of bars of Neil Sedakas' (I Love My) Calendar Girl.

Various Links:

Breast of Canada is honoured to be partnered with the Canadian Breast Cancer Network

Read about the daily adventures of a breast calendar publisher on my Calendar Girl Blog.

Please consider placing our banner on your website this fall.

To order your calendar go to our website order page.

2007 Haiku Contest Deadline: September 30. We want your Breast Haiku.

Our fabulous 2006 Sponsors:

TERA
Ottawa Folklore Centre
Sentex Communications
Federation of Canadian Naturists
Sleeman Brewery
Global Currency Services
Martha Muzychka
Sheila O'Reilly
Sean and Lisa Secord
Todd and Valerie Makant

Web Site Hosts: Barking Dog Studio

That's all she wrote.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: Hit Cover

Photo Credit: Melanie Gillis.
I was at a GAL's pre-marriage dance party last. I was told that 2006 Breast of Canada cover is a hit.

Calendar Girl wonders if you can get a Juno Award for a Hit Cover.

Calendar Girl
Do you want to support Breast Health? Of course you do. And you can. Just add a Breast of Canada Banner to your Blog.

Calendar Girl Blog: Natural Woman

My one request of The Breast Friends Choir is a Carol King tune from her Tapestry album.

As inspiration, I pulled out my record (round, flat, black, thin) that I got for Christmas in 1970 (if memory serves me correctly) and played it on my stereo console...a hugh piece of wooden furniture that came from my boyfriend's parents rec room.

Are you having a flashback yet?

You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman, blared out, filling the room with eye welling inspiration. My posture improved.

For your own sing-a-long pleasure, here are the lyrics.

(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman
Looking out on the morning rain
I used to feel uninspired
And when I knew I had to face another day
Lord, it made me feel so tired
Before the day I met you, life was so unkind
but your love was the key to my peace of mind

cause you make me feel
you make me feel
you make me feel
like a natural woman

And when my soul was in the lost-and-found
You came along to claim it
I didn't know just what was wrong with me
till your kiss helped me name it

now I'm no longer doubtful
of what I'm living for
cause if I make you happy I don't need to do more

you make me feel
you make me feel
you make me feel
like a natural woman

oh baby what you've done to me (what you've done to me)
you make me feel so good inside (good inside)
and I just wanna be (wanna be)
close to you you make me feel so alive

you make me feel
you make me feel
you make me feel
like a natural, natural woman

you make me feel
you know you make me feel
you make me feel
like a natural woman

you know you
you make me feel
you make me feel
you make me feel
like a natural woman

natural woman

Calendar Girl predicts the calendar launch audience will go WILD. Mark your calendar and join us: September 30, Guelph, Ontario, Canada.

Calendar Girl
P.S.Do you want to support Breast Health? Help us spread the vibe. Please add a Breast of Canada Banner to your Blog.

Calendar Girl Blog: Breast Friends Choir

My lovely musical friend Tannis Slimmon has gathered 20 gals together as members of the soon-to-be-famous, Breast Friends Choir. She and they will be performing at my annual Breast of Canada calendar launch on September 30th here in Guelph.

It should be no surprise that the choir will be performing, 'uplifting' tunes in a 'broad' musical range of styles.

And, lucky duck me, there is a rehearsal in my abode this evening!

Calendar Girl is hoping that the selection includes Neil Sedaka's Calendar Girl...a painfully jaunty number yet perfect for the occasion.

Calendar Girl
Scroll to the bottom of this link and listen to There's A Lift.

Calendar Girl Blog: My Menopause Blog

Since my menopause done left town on the early morning stage coach yesterday, I'm likely going to be ranting on a slightly different note until it shows up again.

Not here though. Don't worry. I wouldn't want to get my female complexities mixed up.

Go here.My Menopause Blog.

Calendar Girl likes keeping things orderly.

Calendar Girl
Female to the very core.

Please add a Breast of Canada Banner to your Blog.

Calendar Girl Blog: Put a bra on!!

It started out nice enough. Beautiful day, friendly crowd, groovy tunes, delicious food..you know....all the makings of a festival....this one, a private affair on Fourfolds Organic Farm. I headed out of town with my neighbours, our camping gear stuffed into my cars nooks and crannies, thinking if the vibe was right, we'd pitch our tents for the night and enjoy the peace and quiet of the countryside.

As the sun set, consensus dictated that camping was indeed an ideal way to end our adventure. So off we went to setup with the other dozen campers.

Warning: Never assume that other campers are seeking the same idyllic outcome as you.

Without going into the gory details of how loud, belligerent, drunk and long lasting the other tenters bad behavior was, or how they ignorantly dictated the entire 50 acre farms sleep or lack there of, let's just say that everyone who was not them was pissed off.

And yet no one said anything. Both fear and good ole Canadian politeness clogged us up.

Everyone but me that is.

In the morning, with gear packed up and on my back, I stopped by their tents to recommend that since they were in a field on an organic farm, it would be good if they picked up their cigarette butts, beer bottles and trash before they left. The dozen or so men and women looked at me with hungover eyes and said nothing.

Until I turned my back to walk away.

Then one of the guys yelled out, "Put on a bra."

Calendar Girl wonders. Would that be 'tit for tat'?

Calendar Girl
Braless but not brainless.

Calendar Girl Blog: Nude Calendar Capital

This email just in.

Dear Sue,

I'm the guy who did the original photos and production of the Rylstone WI Calendar - Tricia Stewart has just handed me a copy of your Calendar.

I have a collection of well over 50 "Nude" Calendars sent to us from around the World and I can honestly say that, in my opinion, yours is in the top echelon.

It is beautifully photographed, graphic and very informative - you've handled a tricky subject with a great deal of sensitivity - I can't praise it enough. By the way, the other top Calendars (also in my opinion!) are also from Canada - do you think we can call it the " Nude Calendar Capital"!!? I'll probably be accused of bias because I spent 8 years as an Art Director in Vancouver in the 60/70's.

Kind regards,

Terry Logan

Calendar Girl likes the ring of being in the "top echelon". A fine place indeed.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: Adrienne Clarkson

Since I'm in the mood to brag....

During my first year of publishing, I sent complimentary calendars to a whack of high ranking mucky mucks...including Adrienne Clarkson, Canada's Governor General. As you can see by the letter...it at least got noticed.

My goal was to get a copy in the 'right hands'. They being hands vested with the power to help promote Breast of Canada. Given I have yet to experience a spike in my orders, I would surmise that finding the perfect combo of right hands, with power, and no breast hangups is about as likely as me becoming our next Governor General.

Calendar Girl is amused by that thought.

Calendar Girl.

Calendar Girl Blog: Calendar Girl Meets The Calendar Girls

The movie Calendar Girls was based on a real story of a whack of gals from a women's institute in England who decided to make a nude calendar as a fundraiser for some updated furniture for the local hospital waiting room. Such simple projects happen all the time all over the world.

Somehow, their undertaking caught the eye of HOLLYWOOD and a simple effort turned into one big fat whirlwind of media and fame. I call this the Elvis syndrome. "Little ladies, we gonna make you stars"!!!!

Breast of Canada is having no such luck. Too many of those pesky nipples peeking out of each month for the average, and I do mean average Joe and Jane to wrap their mono perspective around. Nipples = pornography to most who prefer to use the knee jerk method of living.

I think a bee has flown into my bonny bonnet.

Anyhow....the original ladies from the women's institute in jolly ole England emailed me in August with an order for a half dozen 2006 calendars and I'm happy to state that THEY LOVE THEM.

So that's my brush with fame for this posting. And yes, Calendar Girl is bragging.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: Gift Idea

Bet you think I'm going to suggest giving a Breast of Canada Calendar to a woman you care about. Well actually, I've just been inspired by a conversation with Amanda at Parts Canada to consider this generous idea.

Adopt-A-Single-Mom.

That's right. Do you know a single mom who is struggling to make ends meet?

Consider buying a bag of groceries and dropping them off. Pick up a toy, book or clothing for the kid(s). School supplies would be welcome too, especially at this time of year.

Step up to the plate if you can.

Let me know if you do.

Calendar Girl

Giving feels good.