Calendar Girl Blog: From Santa
Dear Calendar Girl,
Given the amount of mail I get during this time of year, I usually send out a cleverly composed form letter as my reply. A bit naughty of me I know, but I just can't write fast enough to personalize every response.
However, your letter dated Friday December 9th, threw me for somewhat of a loop. Took the wind out of my sails so to speak. Landed me on my FAT ass.
Why ever did you write to Mrs. Santa Claus? I thought we had something quite special going on, despite the fact that we don't spend time together. I so looked forward to your letter every year. In fact, I've kept them all. Now, Merry is raging around the house, ripping through my files, mucking about under my bed....I'm sleeping in the barn with the reindeer until she calms down. I'm already a sleepless wreck thanks to Prancer who snores like a train. Not good timing at all Calendar Girl...very naughty of you.
You're lucky though. I am a bit of a breast man myself, and your Breast of Canada calendar, which I have hanging in my workshop, does warm the cockles of my heart, so I'm behooved to help you clear some stock. I can't do as you suggest and pick up 500 copies, what with weight restrictions and all, but I will plant thoughts of sugar plums and breast calendars in the dreams of all the good girls and boys in the world. Heck, might as well include the bad girls and boys too. As you say, breast health is important for everyone.
I'm not sure where this leaves you and I Calendar Girl. My heart is heavy. As is the rest of me, which you so directly pointed out.
F-A-T!
O-U-C-H.
Sad Santa
Given the amount of mail I get during this time of year, I usually send out a cleverly composed form letter as my reply. A bit naughty of me I know, but I just can't write fast enough to personalize every response.
However, your letter dated Friday December 9th, threw me for somewhat of a loop. Took the wind out of my sails so to speak. Landed me on my FAT ass.
Why ever did you write to Mrs. Santa Claus? I thought we had something quite special going on, despite the fact that we don't spend time together. I so looked forward to your letter every year. In fact, I've kept them all. Now, Merry is raging around the house, ripping through my files, mucking about under my bed....I'm sleeping in the barn with the reindeer until she calms down. I'm already a sleepless wreck thanks to Prancer who snores like a train. Not good timing at all Calendar Girl...very naughty of you.
You're lucky though. I am a bit of a breast man myself, and your Breast of Canada calendar, which I have hanging in my workshop, does warm the cockles of my heart, so I'm behooved to help you clear some stock. I can't do as you suggest and pick up 500 copies, what with weight restrictions and all, but I will plant thoughts of sugar plums and breast calendars in the dreams of all the good girls and boys in the world. Heck, might as well include the bad girls and boys too. As you say, breast health is important for everyone.
I'm not sure where this leaves you and I Calendar Girl. My heart is heavy. As is the rest of me, which you so directly pointed out.
F-A-T!
O-U-C-H.
Sad Santa
posted by Sue Richards at 11:31 AM
6 Comments:
Very clever. :) What a way to rid yourself of inventory. ;)
Michele sent me.
Awesome blog, CG! Glad to have found it (via Michele).
LOL, LOL, LOL! Very cute, Calender girl, I'm here from Michele's this morning...and happy to be here, I might add...
how do I find these folks??? oh thru michel of course
I love this blog!
Michele sent me.
Howdy! I was here before and now I'm here again, via the wonderful Michele...Happy to be here Calender Girl!
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