Calendar Girl Blog: Energy Allocation

February Blah's Eve is upon us. Finally, a date that truly reflects my mood. At least for the moment. Lord knows my moods are swinging like apes in a jungle right now. One minute, I'm delighted with everything. Content. Pleased. Solid in my self. The next, I'm completely unsure of what to do, how to be, where to put my flucuating energy.

I suspect much of this uncertainty is part of my menopause...what a delightful bag of tricks that is turning out to be. But I am blurring the blog lines by mentioning that hot new feature of my life in this blog.

This past weekend, I hosted the Information Table at the Organic Agriculture Conference. This was my forth year on the job. As part of the deal, I was given permission to sell 2006 calendars without paying for table space.

In past years, I ended up selling 20 calendars. At least 200 other people stop by and have a look, a reaction, then carry on. In prior years, I would engage everyone, buyers and non-buyers alike in lots of chat, explanation, energy and effort.

This year, for many reasons, I changed my approach. I let the calendar sell itself and instead of chatting everyone up, I left them all alone. I still sold 20 calendars. The many chats of previous years turned into a few deeper conversations that were satisfying and reflective. I left the three day affair exhausted, but not spent.

Calendar Girl is looking for the key to the car that will drive the 2007 calendar through the next several months. She needs to get on with the production so to speak. Photo submissions need to be sorted, text mapped out, distribution firmed up. But she needs to change her approach so that the entire affair does not leave her spent.

It's time for the year's energy allocation to be made. The calendar is going to get less.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, Blog, 2007 Calendar.

Calendar Girl Blog: Irony in Action

How ironic that I would come home from a very full day of selling Breast of Canada calendars to very appreciative customers attending the Guelph Organic Agriculture Conference and find this unsigned email in my in box.

"In my opinion, this promotion is in very poor taste. I am disappointed in the society and will never donate to the cause again."

Calendar Girl was going to reply with a warm response but has since changed her mind. Instead she will use her energy to focus on the warm afterglow of the weekend.

Calendar Girl

Today's Headline on The Breast Views Blog: Miss Information

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar.

Calendar Girl Blog: Google AdWords

If you come to this blog by way of the Breast of Canada website, you will notice, that Google AdWords have been added on most pages including my home page. This thanks to my talented webwench Sandy.

I have decent traffic on my site. Here's my total website action for 2005.

Unique visits: 352,153
Number of visits: 400,221
Pages: 695,673
Hits: 8,521,455

I'm certainly not selling anywhere near 350,000 calendars. Nor am I able to pay myself a wage for this work. So perhaps I can earn some income with ad revenue.

Revenue is an important part of a healthy diet. Being self unemployed for long periods of time can be....difficult. So I'm hoping that the folks that aren't interested in purchasing a calendar or reading my blog, will find an ad that offers them what they are looking for.

Calendar Girl realizes that many porn seekers drop by her site which surely increases her traffic greatly. This does not bother her in the least. In fact, Calendar Girl finds it all rather amusing. She sees the unintended visitor reaping a form of 'tit for tat' payback for all the porn email she gets.

Calendar Girl

Tags:Breast of Canada Calendar, Sue Richards, Google AdWords, porn, Calendar Girl Blog, Website Stats.

Calendar Girl Blog: Mr. Mojo

My With or Without Man post from yesterday was an attempt at explaining something that has plagued me for years but has been difficult to articulate.

In short: I would like to be able to go about my life without having to worry if I'm turning some guy on, simply because I'm alive. I don't want to wear a fake wedding ring, a trick many single women use, to appear to be 'someone else's gal'. I don't want to be accused of frigidity or having a different sexual orientation because I don't find a males advances, say while I'm parking my car, stimulating or worth pursuing. I don't want to be responsible for policing mens sexual innuendos by repeatedly reminding them that: I am not interested.

I do want to have male friends. Men have such a wonderful perspective on so many parts of life that I would regret missing out on such wisdom. Men are fun. Men can open pickle jars.

Even Shorter Explanation: I would like the same freedom to be myself as a man has.

Yes, I know that all men are not like this. I have many successful friendships with wonderful men that prove this to me. And I know men have a different sexual response and stimulation rate than women, which no doubt is at the crux of this entire dilemma.

I'm not trying to dictate men's reality. I'm looking for a way to live my life without having to micro-manage my every move for fear of getting Mr. Mojo going.

Maybe I blowing hot air into a freezer. Maybe I don't want to hide behind a man, but rather walk beside one or gee, play it on my own. I don't need to eat pickles from a jar.

Calendar Girl has a brain. And she has breasts. She prefers it when both can be present.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, equality, breasts.

Calendar Girl Blog: With Man, Without Man

During periods of singledom which I label, Without Man, I have found the task of defending my breast and bodies honour to be a full time job. Without Man, (I cannot speak to same sex relationships here but would love to know if there is a common thread) I have intentionally avoided situations and people...male people....when I know I'll be hit on.

Thanks to taking the clever Myers-Brigg's test, 10 years ago, I learned, much to my surprise, that I am a 50/50 introvert/extrovert split.

My introverted side is relatively easy to live with. I stay on my property, amuse myself, avoid contact with others. Sometimes I get a bit concerned if my outside voice gets used too frequently despite being alone and I start thinking about getting a bunch of cats. Otherwise being introverted is fairly safe.

When my extroverted side kicks into gear, we have another story.

I'm friendly, funny and free. My big smile flashes good straight teeth. I know how to fire up a smart, witty conversation. I exude energy. I draw attention.

Being introverted Without Man, requires nothing difficult from me. Flip into extrovert, and suddenly, I end up feeling quite vulnerable if I let myself fully engage with other men. The type of attention I get is not always the type of attention I am seeking.

With Man is a different story. With Man, my introvert gets cramped and stuffed up. It's like I'm having an allergic reaction to a human being. Turn me on my extrovert side and look out mamma. With Man I suddenly feel safe, sure and ready to take on the world.

Now why would that be I wonder....

Could it be that I'm counting on My Man to protect me from other men's unwanted sexual penetration?

Bingo baby.

Just by virtue of having a man, even just being able to refer to his existence, has the profound effect of getting overly zealous men to back off.

No means no With Man. Without Man, no looses its meaning.

Calendar Girl does want control of her breasts and body. Yet, she's also looking for protection so that she can be herself. She wonders where this dichotomy fits into the big picture of understanding women's breast health needs?

Calendar Girl

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, Myers-Briggs, breasts.

Calendar Girl Blog: Art Jam and Breast Interference

I've just returned from presenting a Leadership and Creativity workshop for 28 students at the University of Guelph. I used my Art Jam model.

Following the opening introductions, I had them standup and step into their own actual cardboard box. Then, I coached them in the art of pounding their chests and roaring like Tarzan, which we did, at full volume. Twice. Finally, we stepped out of our boxes and carried on with the workshop.

Yesterday's post got some dialogue stirred up around breasts, ownership and sexuality. Today, I'm going to stir the pot a bit more. But first, I'd like you to step into your box. Now do a full chest thumping roar. Then step out.

We'll approach from this different perspective.

Yes breasts are sexual. Being a breast owner myself, circa 1970, I find this component of my pups personality to my liking. However, there was a time, quite a long time in fact, when my breasts only seemed to be sexual. Never did my breasts get a backseat roll to say, simple body parts. Instead, where ever I went, there they were, front and centre eye candy. This regardless of whether I was 'asking for it' or not.

This period of my life was challenging. I loved my breasts sexualness. And I hated my breasts sexualness. Sometimes in the same moment.

For a couple of years, fondly referred to by my family as the "Sack Era", I refused to wear anything fitted. Only yards of cloth covered, and I do mean covered my body. I simply wanted some space from the gaze of men and the breast spotlight.

Such angst. Such effort. Such energy. What did I not do during this time that might of had some universal benefit!

Today I look around and see other women in what might be their "Sack Era". Yet today, I wear fitted clothes. My breast angst has melted thanks to Breast of Canada. Now, I can own my breasts as the full featured body parts they are.

When I look at the laughing, playful photos in the calendar, I don't see sexuality front and centre. From being present at many photo shoots, of laughing, playful models, I can say that rarely do I detect overt sexual energy. Mostly, I sense a exhilarated freedom to be bare breasted in the company of others.

Calendar Girl would like to see women take the spotlight more often. She is not interested in desexualizing the breast...a silly idea to say the least. Calendar Girl simply wants women to be free to play any roll they want, when they want to, without breast interference.

Calendar Girl

Today's Breast Views Blog Headline: Breasted Canadian Politician

January 26 is Orangeness Day.

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, Art Jam, desexualized breasts, Tarzan.

Calendar Girl Blog: Breasts as Friends

One of the areas that I needed to get clear with myself early on in this breast calendar publishing game was where pornography fit into the picture. More precisely, was I publishing Breast of Canada as a form of protest of the massive pornography industry.

I'm a practical person on many fronts. A realist even. Clearly, I have established that I do bite off large chunks of challenge and chew my best. Just the same, I'm not stupid.

In early times, with my Women's Studies courses burning holes in my brain and igniting fury of hurricane proportions, I was known to haul around the occasional club and beat people...okay men....over the head with it. But that did not serve me well. People...men...did not take kindly to my sanctimonious attitude or abuse. Thankfully like cheese, wine and firewood, age changes the end result.

Best to use sugar if one wants to befriend a fly.

With that sweet thought in mind, fully aware of the massive influence of pornography on both men and women, but in no way deeming it 'the devil's work, my intention for creating the calendar became clear. I would be for breast health. I would favour the breast as a body part that requires our attention and care in the same way all of our body does. I would celebrate all breasts for their function and form.

I would make it joyfully obvious that accepting our breasts as friends was a sign of wisdom. Pornography makers and users had their own code to consider and live with.

I had nothing to do with them.

Calendar Girl is a tiny wee drop in the bucket of non-sexualized breast thoughts. Recently, one male customer offered Calendar Girl his critical analyses on the 2006 photos.

According to him, shots with babies were good. Obvious breast cancer survivor photos acceptable. Models without smiles or faces he liked. But any of the shots where the women were laughing and clearly having a very fun time, he rejected as uninteresting.

Calendar Girl reflected this back to her customer. He ended the dialogue.

Calendar Girl

Today's Breast Views Blog Headline: Lemonland

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, pornography.

Calendar Girl Blog: Ice on Dog

Red Dogwood is a common shrub found just about anywhere is my neck of the woods. This particular tangle is coated with ice, as was the entire, surrounding forest. When the sun broke through, the impact was breathtaking. A million glittery ice diamonds hanging everywhere.

If Calendar Girls camera manipulating prowess was higher up the techno dweeb scale, she likely would have been able to capture the diamond forest. She did try. Alas, the impact was not translated into mega bites. Instead, she took a snap shot with her minds eye, to save for future savoring.

Calendar Girl

PS: Fellow Canadians. It is Election Day. Please vote.

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, voting.

Calendar Girl Blog: Vote

We, the slightly frozen, thanks to global warming, have more elections than most countries due to our diversity in views. A majority government is just too darn hard to come by, what with gay marriage, legalizing marijuana, gun registries, abortion rights and stuff that gets into peoples craw.

I'm fine with minority governments. In fact, I'm pretty darn nervous of majority sweeps. My party of choice has never been in the majority. So a minority is the only way a peep of my voice gets heard.

I'm thinking it was the election before this election...say 2 year's ago, when that minority government was getting weak at the knees and a new race started to look inevitable. As it occasionally does, my phone rang.

It was the local federal folks for the NDP. They were wondering, actually inviting me to throw in my hat, the orange fuzzy one I think, and run for the NDP nomination in Guelph. My response, after expressing my true appreciation, was quick and polite. No thank you. They twisted a bit. I stuck to my answer.

Yet just the same, I wandered around for more than a few days imagining me, running.

And, I don't run.

If I were to set my foot on the stage of a political arena, it will be on the municipal level. I've joked that when I'm 65, I will take a crack at the top spot of Mayor. It's what our current mayor did, and despite not being the best person for the job, she won. So, with that template in my cranial back room, I continue to keep abreast (or two) of my community.

So then, Calendar Girl would like to make a request. If you are eligible to vote in Monday's election, please get yer butt to a polling station and plant an x on a ballot. If you don't know who to vote for, Calendar Girl, in one of her other forms, has shared her thoughts.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar , vote.

Calendar Girl Blog: Aged Aquarian

T's the dawning of Aquarius, my birth sign.

Personally, I do not follow astrology, except to read my horror-scope every morning, then promptly forget it. I'm told, with that knowing nod and drawn out...'Ahhhhhh, that explains it....with me being 'it' for the duration of the scrutiny.....that I'm a full blown, stand me up in front of the class and jab me with a pointer, example of pure Aquarian.

That's as far as I'm going with this show and tell.

Except to say, Birthday Week will be forth coming. Not restricted to the traditional meaning of the word week in that a week is 7 days, Birthday Week starts at will, rambles on for a time, then stops when I'm done. Birthday Week was introduced to solve the problem many of my loved ones have with memory loss. Of course they know my birthday is in February, what with the never to be forgotten 40th celebration I had, complete with a gold painted, naked woman serving tequila shots.

Just what day in February is the tricky part for the grey matter impaired. With Birthday Week, the target is generous. A hit is guaranteed.

Calendar Girl would like to report that she has just opened box 350 - 400 of calendars. Slowly but surely the inventory numbers are shrinking. Today's lucky wieners are flying off to Florida, Missouri, California, Toronto, British Columbia and Indianna.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, Aquarius, birthday.

Today's Breast Views Blog Headline: The Day My Boobs Went Bust

Calendar Girl Blog: Ice and Breast Photos

On Tuesday I mentioned our 'leg breaking weather' brought to us in the form of an ice storm. I opted to keep my limbs safe, on my couch, in front of my woodstove. Apparently not everyone used the same strategy.

For those of you new to freezing rain and what that means try this. Coat the entire outside world with a quarter inch of hard slippery ice. Then try to move around. In yesterday's paper, our fire chief claimed the department responded to "people with broken bones", then added "high heels aren't the best choice for this type of weather."

So I'm on my couch, on my ass, in my slippers, watching a fire, while other women are outside, in high heels, on their ass, because they've been trying to walk on ice.

Sometimes, often actually, our differences/similarities astound me.

Segue into breasts.

My 2007 photo contest has come to a close. What a joy to see such courage, fun and diversity in photographic form. I must say I still thank the idea gods for planting the photo contest idea in my wee brain way back then, during the prior century. Tis so much better to expand the creative landscape of the Breast of Canada calendar by embracing other peoples ideas.

The stories that come with the photos are brilliant to boot. Wild exclamations filled with insights, meaning and my personal favourite curiosity and discovery. As I've said before and no doubt will say again, given my propensity to repeat myself, we are so much more than we believe ourselves to be.

Calendar Girl is pleased to report that the ice melted. Rest assured, this will not deter Calendar Girl from assuming the previously mentioned couch/ass/fire/slipper position. As a wise friend pointed out, what better time to restore and rejuvenate than January.

Perhaps February.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, photo contest, freezing rain.

Calendar Girl Blog: Weedless Wednesday

Welcome to Weedless Wednesday. The weed to which this day is dedicated is tobacco.

Yes the day is half over. Still if you smoke tobacco, and you'd like to feel that you are involved in Weedless Wednesday, if nothing else because it is fun to say, then butt yea out right now!

Weedless Wednesday is the apex of National Non-Smoking Week. It assumes that many smokers made a 'stop smoking vow' on New Year's Eve. If they've made it this far into the greyest month ever, without cracking, then a bit of national support may keep them smoke free that much longer.

I don't smoke tobacco. I did. For a short time. Twice. At fourteen I spent the summer with my farm girlfriend neighbour in the apple orchard. We'd steal rollies from the adults, smoke until we were green, then rub apple chunks all over us so we would go undetected. Think burnt applesauce.

Later, in University, I tried the King Sized Menthol look. Which turned out to be stupid. Still, no one bummed smokes from my pack unless they were beyond desperate.

Calendar Girl includes these dates on the calendar because smoking and cancer are mates. No two ways about it. Hand and hand. Calendar Girl watched someone slowly and painfully die from smoking. She said, "If I'd known they would kill me, I'da stopped year's ago."

Calendar Girl

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada Calendar, Weedless Wednesday, Non-smoking week, tobacco.

Calendar Girl Blog: January Please

What a day, what a day.

Traditionally, January in the calendar business is slowish. A few orders trickle in, there's a chance to clean up some piles (paper variety), do the planning for the 2007 edition...stuff like that. Today, did not follow suite.

First, it's freezing rain. Yesterday when I went on about walking on ice, I meant frozen bodies of water, not front steps, sidewalks and streets. Different story that. Very dangerous. Leg breaking weather really. Given my fondness for my legs to be free of pain, I've chosen houseboundness as my safety net. Leaving the out of house stuff for tomorrow's list which makes that list longer and the day much busier. But safety first is my motto and so it goes.

The weather aside, I finally struck out and did my 2004 taxes. Which I guess weighs in as cleaning up a pile. I use an on-line tax program. Not skillfully I confess. So, it takes several goes before I get it right. Thankfully, I'm in for a huge refund...$54.33. Yup, I'll be taking a Brinks Truck to the bank with that baby.

Then for magical reasons, I received no emails from 10pm last night to 10am this morning. Not even porn. So off I went, poking around, trying to find the missing messages. Currently Sentex, one of my servers, is doing some digging. Not the best thing for an on-line business to experience. It's like having your store door locked with no sign explaining why.

The photo contest for 2007 has come to a close and the entries are very fine indeed.
Calendar Girl will be getting right on that before the calendar page turns. Once the photos are in place, the writing goes very smoothly. Now if January would kindly behave like January, Calendar Girl could proceed with business.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Sue Richards, Breast of Canada Calendar,photo contest, Calendar Girl Blog.

Calendar Girl Blog: Sun and Ice

This is a sun dial. I took this photo yesterday, at the Guelph Lake Boat Club, of which I am a member. The dark band with light numbers is a shadow, created by the sun blasting through the curved metal band, with cut out numbers, in the fore ground of the photo. There is a vertical bar etched into the back plate that touches the butt side of the three. This line tells me the time. At this moment, that line rests between the dots for 2pm and 3pm. I'll guestimate 2:20pm.

I am with dogs. Both friends of mine but strangers to each other. We had a few tense minutes before we set off. Splash, the puppy Portuguese Water Dog, wanted to drive. So did Lou, the five year old Labrador. Neither realized I have standard transmition. When they noticed the clutch, which I quietly pointed out, they quickly changed the arguement to 'who would sit in the front'. Just before I snapped, they worked out a deal and we set off.

The lake was frozen, which happens to be my favourite time at the boat club. During summer, the goose shit is well beyond my ability to overlook. Then, I sit on the dock, thermos of tea, and enjoy the view, wishing I was farther north beside water more pristine. But frozen, it gains a look and feel of complete wilderness.

'Dogs on Ice' was worth the price of admission. With no fear, or understanding of the nature of the surface, the two K9's slid and rolled, licked and frolicked. When the ice moaned, Splash barked furiously then ran to me in fear. Lou paid no heed. With frequent stops to gaze about, we all seemed to find our 'inner wolf' faced with the great expanse of open space.

I've been walking on ice since I could walk. My front yard, for the first 12 year's of my life, was Sturgeon Bay, just off Georgian Bay. The bay would freeze over for months at a time. My dad would haul out our fish hut. My brother would mark out a rink. I could skate in one direction for an hour if I chose.

Henry asked Calendar Girl to take him walking on the ice this winter. This winter was slow to arrive and Henry was quick to go. Walking yesterday, Calendar Girl knew that Henry would have found his inner wolf too.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog Sue Richards, Photo, Breast of Canada.

Photo: Canon Power Shot A610; Manual Setting: 1/1250; F 4.0.

Calendar Girl Blog: Working to Get Rich

Doing. Doing. Always doing.

Already, at this early date in the new year, I have agreed to my full year's worth of work.

• Breast of Canada 2007
• Calendar Girl Blog
• The Breast Views Blog
• My Menopause Blog
• The creation and implementation of a blog network
• Ghost write a book
• Training a collection of artists to run Corporate Art Jam.
• Running Leadership and Creativity workshops at my Alma Mater, University of Guelph.
• Mentoring
  
• Freelance writing

Not all these engagements pay me in dollars. Yet I chose to commit to them because they make me rich.

So now, my task will be to find the pace to implement the new, continue to develop the previously started, and the grace and good manners to decline more projects.

Calendar Girl knows the slippery slope of doing, doing, doing. She will attempt to practice the deeper experience of being, being, being.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Calendar Girl Blog, Breast of Canada, Sue Richards, Art Jam.

Calendar Girl Blog: Wiped Out

Not since I was a surly teenager have I slept til 11am. When I looked at my clock this morning, eyes barely able to register the hands, I moaned. Not out of disgust for the obscenely late hour to be waking on a working day. Rather, I could feel that my tank, which had become dry to the bone over the last few weeks, had barely managed to get damp.

I'm wiped.

So, here's me wiped out. Partly due to an ongoing sleep-at-night issue that is likely part of Everything Plus. The Plus being My Menopause, which I do go on about on my other blog should you be interested in catching some of that fun and frolicking vibe.

On a completely different yet practical note: I'm delivering some more calendars to Macondo Books in Downtown Guelph, on Wilson Street this afternoon for any of you Guelph readers that need/want/haven't got one. Still full price my friends. There ain't no half priced breasts coming from me this year. Or order yours on-line if you're not from G-Town.

Calendar Girl does not recommend letting yourself get dry as dust. As she sat on her couch, drooling, mind frighteningly blank, she hoped that no big ugly things were heading her way. Big ugly things don't always ask permission to enter ones life or allow themselves to be booked in at a convenient time. So it's a good plan to keep a big ugly thing energy reserve somewhere. In order to provide some protection, Calendar Girl will refrain from operating any big ugly, heavy equipment until further notice.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Breast of Canada, Calendar Girl Blog,My Menopause Blog.

Calendar Girl Blog: Henry Hearts Inspire

I got this email yesterday.

Hey girl,

Just wanted to say thru some fairly serendipitous goings on that I have found the source of those amazing hearts on the trees behind River Run. You. (and perhaps an army of well doers)

I completely was unaware of Henry's memorial and by chance (yah right) happened to be strolling along alone on the trail when I spotted the cornucopia of colour. it so filled my heart with many too many emotions. I had no idea that it was connected to Henry's gathering (must read the paper more). I thought it was just some mischievous soul attempting to give succor to those who are withering in the grey of late. Well wasn't I surprised. It so inspired me that I came home and scribbled out some lyrics to respond to the discovery.

What a crazy fuckin' world man.

Peace my friend. Hope to bump into you soon.

Andrew
---
eccodek.com

Calendar Girl loves Guelph.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: Time Management

Calendars mark time. No matter which calendar you use, my time is dished out in equal parcels to your time. We both have this moment. No other time frame is certain. Just now. So our calendars offer a promise, some form of hope of something that may not happen. A time that may not come for us.

Calendars guarantee nothing.

How we use our time, and our calendars may differ depending on our beliefs, but our starting point is the same no matter how you throw the dice. We have now. We do not have tomorrow.

Our calendars have time, not us.

When someone dies, suddenly time gets a different amount and type of attention. Death triggers the reality that our time on this earth has a limit. We each have a Best Before Date stamped on out butts. Each of us holds some delusion, perhaps that the date is far, far in the future and will come with advance notice. I've argued blue in the face with people convinced that they will live to ripe healthy old ages, then gracefully drift off into their sunset. It's not that I want to piss on their romantic parade, but more that I believe that people would live more authentically if they lived right now.

I selfishly like being surrounded by 'in the moment energy'. It's vibrant, alive, present.

So, what are you doing with your time?

Henry planted trees from seed. This is a very generous example of use of time. Henry didn't limit his thinking to his own time on the planet. His understanding of time exceeded his own lifespan. He seized the day, the hour, the minute and the second with action and activity that was not always immediately gratifying. He bathed in his time. Gloried. And he left so much more than he used.

Calendar Girl plants creative seeds. In this year's calendar, she's encouraged owners to take a photo of themselves to be placed on their own birthdate. Being in the calendar is a powerful, life affirming experience that can forever shift your consciousness. With this simple seed idea, everyone can be in the Breast of Canada calendar and give themselves the gift of broader perspective. Perspective helps you understand that life has limits.

Really knowing the limits of life allows for total freedom.

Calendar Girl

Tags:Breast of Canada, death, Henry Kock.

Calendar Girl Blog: Henry Heart Trees Bloom

Yesterday, at least 100 Henry hearts blossomed on trees along the banks of the river.

Everyone we meet on the trail was smiling.

If I understood my camera better, I would have managed a wider frame. Instead you get to meet these hearts more intimately, one on one.

Some rested on the ground. Two sat side by side on a bench, like lovers, one leaning on the other. But most clung to tree branches at all heights. The work of one diligent soul? Or perhaps a community of many.

I can only say that as I entered the river trail, I caught my breath as I noticed the fluttering colour in the distance. Then I smiled with deep satisfaction.

Calendar Girl is thrilled that people accepted the invitation to "make it beautiful".

Calendar Girl

Tags: Henry Kock

Calendar Girl Blog: Magnitude

Magnitude is not a word I throw around lightly. Indeed, it is the only word that currently comes to mind.

Well over 500 people found their way into the River Run Centre for yesterday's memorial for Henry Kock. Standing room only, people lining the balcony, faces of all ages, dressed in all fashions, tears, laughter...looks of utter disbelief. Hugging...so many people hugging.

The east facing glass wall, looks out over one of our two rivers. Snow fell lightly. Brightly coloured hearts rested everywhere. Speakers so eloquent, so heartfelt, so completely naked in their love of Henry, graced our ears with their words. Songs beautifully written and sung floated through the air.

Calendar Girl held and was held. As she left with Anne and friends, snow flakes fat and juicy, dropped like small eggs from the sky. Calendar Girl understands the magnitude of grief waiting to greet the love of Henry's life. The long haul has begun.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Henry Kock

Calendar Girl Blog: Preparing for the Memorial

In half an hour, I will join my neighbour Aimee and together we will walk to the River Run Performing Arts Centre to prepare for Henry's memorial celebration. Snow is falling softly. The sky is grey.

Anne, Henry's wife has made copies of some of Henry's pencil sketches, which we will place on the 300 chairs, along with the hearts, for people to take home.

Although Henry never stated this to me, I believe his favorite colour was red. So I am wearing red. Bright, velvety, vibrant red. And orange, my favorite colour which fits beautifully with my Chinese birth sign, Fire Rooster.

Calendar Girl expects the day to unfold like a festival of friends. No doubt we will all be exhausted from the mixed of joy and sorrow.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: My Room With My View

My office, where the majority of my blogging happens, has a south facing window. This is the view, taken through my newly installed window. Yes, that's my hand and my camera reflected in the glass.

If you look in the top left corner, you will see blue sky. Finally, after weeks, the sun emerged. I'm baking in it as I type. You will also note the house directly across the street is grey. Today it looks charming. Yesterday and for the last thousand dull days, it simply added to the grey palour of the weather and my mood.

Gareth Lind, the calendar designer, lives just outside of the photos right edge, in the third unit of the red brick four-plex beside the aforementioned grey house, which is owned by an elderly woman and her artist painter son. My furnace man, who I fondly think of as Superman, because his first name is Clark, owns the barn shaped house.

This afternoon, I am packaging up calendars that will be shipped to: Correo Bruin, Chile; Edmonton, Alberta; Kanata, Ontario; Hudson, Massachusetts; Fairview Heights, Illinois; Sherwood Park, Alberta; Saskatoon, Saskatchwan; Calgary, Alberta.

Calendar Girl finds it remarkable that she can connect with people from so many places, sitting in her office with her view. Within the next few weeks, depending on mail service, these folks will be removing the cellophane from a Breast of Canada calendar and hanging it on their wall.

The world is small.

Calendar Girl

Calendar Girl Blog: What You Know

Neighbours Sarah, Ahren and Aimee joined me for a heart making evening last night. We now have at least 1,300 construction paper hearts ready to be set free at this Saturday's memorial for our friend Henry Kock.

T'was a lovely, fun, creative exercise for four fully functioning adults to dive into. The box filled with paper scraps is as delightful as the one brimming with heart.

I learned something significant today.

A friend asked me how I knew what to do as I helped Henry die. I answered, that it was intuitive.

Now I realize that that was only part of the answer.

Everything I currently know, has been taught to me by others, be they human, animal or other species of the natural world. The knowledge package that I have is unique to me, but the purveyors of that knowledge number in the millions.

When I urged Henry to follow my breathing with his, this idea was not uniquely mine. I have studied breath work and meditation with dozens of people. I simply used the skill that I had learned.

When Henry's forehead burned hot, the ice cloth I applied was the ice cloth my mother applied my fevered brow as a child.

When I rested my hand gently on his neck, offering support, it was thanks to the touch of my many massage therapists over the years.

The intuitive part was the when, not what.

Calendar Girl realizes that she is much more than what meets the eye. We all are.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Henry Kock

Calendar Girl Blog: Hearts

Yesterday I purchased two, 96 page books of kids craft paper from the drug store in our downtown mall. Last night, I free cut about 300 hearts.

My finger started to get the familiar ouchy feeling from using scissors that I remember so well from Grade One, so I had to give up the task for the time being. Before I reached my scissor limit, I was amused to note that my mouth still gets involved with the act of cutting. Some weird jaw bone connected to the scissorhand reflex.

The hearts are for Henry's memorial. I'm getting seven hearts per sheet of paper so will have close to 1400 by the time I'm done. We will be giving them out to the guests, in an attempt to 'make it beautiful'.

Calendar Girl would like to encourage everyone who reads this post to cut out some hearts and scatter them around your life. Try using them as currency and see what happens.

Calendar Girl

Tags: Henry Kock

Calendar Girl Blog: Broken Hearts

The invisibility of grief adds an additional layer of complexity to the process of grieving.

When you have a broken leg, your giant white cast, crutches or cane provide clear information to others about your affliction. Doors are opened. Things are carried and fetched. Help is offered. Until the leg heals, empathy, understanding and assistance will be directed your way.

A broken heart is another story.

Calendar Girl is spending much of her time in the company of friends all grieving the passing of Henry Kock. Details for Saturday's celebration and memorial are being worked out over steaming bowls of soup, wine, tea, tears and laughter. We are sadly comfortable, tucked in our white cast world of understanding.

Calendar Girls knows this suspended time is a gift. Next week, month, season, year will bring a new reality. The cast will be gone. But the hurt will remain.

Calendar Girl

To catch a glimpse of Henry's life impact, go here then type in henrykock. (no space) Click on the Guestbook.

Tags: Henry Kock, Grieving,.

Calendar Girl Blog: The Seed

This is my 4 year old friend Sophie. In January 2001, prior to Sophia's conception, her mom and I had an afternoon tea date that followed Emma's full medical checkup and breast examination. Emma's experience during that checkup, told to me in full glorious detail over tea, was a key seed in the growing of the Breast of Canada calendar.

Up to that point, my annual medical breast examinations lasted less than a minute per breast! Not only did Emma's exam last 10x's longer, she was further instructed on 'detection' with the use of silicone breasts, complete with several differently located and sized cysts and tumors.

Emma's confidence and ability to self detect any abnormalities had improved a million fold thanks to one appointment with a trained breast health specialist. Inspired, I rushed home and Googled breast health.

I was gobsmacked when nothing came up.

Nothing.

In fact, the prompt asked, Do you mean breast cancer?

Calendar Girl was appalled that such a gap in information existed. Being the clever little entrepreneur she decided to fill that information hole with a practical, affordable, breast health focused wall calendar. Calendar Girl was sure people would instantly recognize the importance of being proactive about breast health and see the calendar as an excellent tool.

Five year's later, Calendar Girl admits that she isn't always right about 'people'. But her take on the calendar was spot on.

Calendar Girl

Tags: breast health, breast self examination, Breast of Canada.

Calendar Girl Blog: Opening Day

Today is the day. I can hear hundreds of pieces of cellophane hitting the floor and fresh new calendars creaking opening to January.

Even though I've been selling the suckers for six months, and folks have been flipping through the pages, it's really not until the tack goes into the wall that the latest Breast of Canada gets to shine.

At least I hope it shines. My intention is to create something beautiful that you will love. Something that speaks to you on multiple levels and maybe helps answer a few questions. The definative breast owners manual so to speak.

Calendar Girl would like to be a fly on the wall in all the calendar owners homes right now. She likes to think of herself as curious but really, she's just noisy.

Calendar Girl